I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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