Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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