Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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