no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
