They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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