wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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