I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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