let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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