Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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