its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
