I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
