Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
