I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
