Nicole vs. Life
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
