Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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