Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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