whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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