I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
