So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
