Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
