New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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