Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
false alarm, still single
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
