Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
