bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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