i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
