and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
