Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
