I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
