Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
