would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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