My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you win again, gameday.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
