I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
