Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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