So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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