and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
organizing the empties. That sober.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
