k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
