things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
