i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
