I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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