She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
