I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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