i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
