brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
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