; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
