your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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