white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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