in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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