Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
