I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
