On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
high people should be assigned attendants
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
