I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
